Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Your cock deserves a montage
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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