I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
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I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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