I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
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A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
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I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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