You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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