i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm always down for nudity.
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