i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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