I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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