He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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