Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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