didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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