Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
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How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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