i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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