i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize