my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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