You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize