i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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