Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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