It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
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He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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