That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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