trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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