Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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