Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i came on her dog
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize