I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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