She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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