That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
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he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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