i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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