I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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