I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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