We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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