I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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