If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize