About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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