I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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