Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
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I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize