Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize