so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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