ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize