so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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