How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
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Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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