Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize