so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize