Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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