There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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