My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize