obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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