people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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