Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize