I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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