Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize