Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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